54% of women asked for more versus 44% of men. "Just ask" was never the problem.
For two decades the guidance has been consistent: women don't ask, so women should. It filled bookshelves and packed workshops across the country, including right here in the Alamo City. Here's the real issue: women have started speaking up about pay.
Popular belief
The idea took shape around research from the early 2000s, which found that a man was far more apt than a woman to haggle over his initial salary. Back then that observation held up, yet it got repeated so widely that a structural flaw turned into an individual shortcoming, the reasoning being that anyone paid too little simply hadn't pressed hard enough. It also suited employers. Coaching women to adjust their conduct is free for an employer, whereas requiring a firm to disclose its pay bands carries a genuine price tag.
Latest numbers from San Antonio and surrounding towns paint a changed picture.
According to a 2023 survey of business-school alumni, directed by Laura Kray and her team at Berkeley Haas, 54% of women reported bargaining over their latest job offer, against 44% of men. The women still earned less. As it happens, the request itself was never what was lacking.
Even when women speak up about pay, three factors keep the gap in place.
Where you begin matters more than what you demand. Typically, a negotiation moves the figure by only a handful of percentage points. The number that actually matters was settled long before you entered the room, through the pay band you landed in, the level you were brought in at, and the salary record that followed you from one employer to the next. Even a 7% raise from a modest baseline leaves you trailing a man who negotiated from a stronger position to begin with. That is why two people with identical reviews can end up $20,000 apart after five years, since their raises matched in percentage terms but applied to different starting figures.
The same words land differently, as San Antonio hiring managers and Converse employers often find when the speaker changes. Studies on the likability penalty have again and again shown that the same request is heard as confident when a man makes it and as pushy when a woman does. Many women sense this, which is why they ask carefully, and careful requests tend to win smaller yeses.
Access to salary information varies widely. Word of what a role pays spreads through professional circles, and those circles still reflect who is connected to whom. If you don't know the top of the band, you negotiate toward the middle and call it a success.
Older negotiating guidance still holds in certain situations.
Asking still matters, even in busy workplaces from Universal City to Live Oak. Unrequested raises seldom happen, and those who never speak up tend to fall the farthest behind. Your aim is not to quit asking. Your aim is to recognize that asking is only part of the picture.
Better strategies to try
Bargain over the level first, and only then over the figure. A grade or title determines the band, and the band shapes the next decade of your pay. Before any salary talk, find out which level the position corresponds to and what justifies it.
Get the range in writing before you accept an offer in Schertz or Seguin. Posted pay ranges are now required in a growing number of states, and "What's the band for this role?" is a fair question to ask in any interview, whether at a hospital in the Medical Center, a bank downtown, or a company on the Far Northwest Side.
Base your request on what the position demands, whether in Schertz or Seguin. Saying "given the scope we've discussed, the market rate is X" redirects the discussion from your wishes to the value of the work. Local salary data from the Texas Workforce Commission and the Bureau of Labor Statistics can help you anchor that number.
Treat "no" as information that can guide your next move in Boerne, Cibolo, or Helotes. A no with a date and a figure is a plan. A refusal that comes without explanation reveals more about the employer than about you. Local resources like SCORE San Antonio and the San Antonio Women's Chamber of Commerce can help you map out your next move.
What is the largest sum you ever secured by pushing for it, and what is the largest you secured by being willing to leave?